Needs New Chickens

I know most of you will think I made this story up but I swear it’s true. In many ways, truth is indeed stranger than fiction.

I got a call the other day from a woman who asked if I sold laying hens. I told her yes I did. She said “good” because she “…needed some new chickens” and wanted to get rid of all of hers. She went on to say that her chickens were eating their eggs. I then explained that sometimes hens do that and that it can be difficult to break them of the habit once they start and asked if she knew which hen was doing it. She said “They all do it. The rooster too.  I need to get rid of him too. He eats the eggs”.  So I then explained that maybe she needed to check the nests a couple of times a day so that she could gather the eggs as soon as they are laid.  To which she replied “no, I’m already out there when they lay them and they eat them right away.” She kept insisting she needed all new chickens. Chickens that wouldn’t eat eggs.  So I explained that some people, including commercial egg operations, build special nests that slant so that the eggs can roll to the back of the nests and the birds can’t eat them.  To which she replied “They already got that now.  They lay them on the roof and they roll off the roof and crash to the ground and break open and all the chickens and the rooster run up and eat them. I need me some new chickens that don’t eat eggs”.  It was all I could do to keep a straight face but I explained that even my chickens would eat broken eggs falling off the roof and that she needed to build nest boxes for her hens to lay eggs in. I explained how to do that and that she could use any kind of box or basket or even just put some hay on the ground. She said she would try that but if it didn’t work she was going to get rid of those chickens and get her some new chickens that didn’t eat eggs.

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